Get it, thin mints? EAT A CHEESEBURGER, LADY!

Cookie-purveying giant Girl Scouts of America have decided to cut several of the crappy-ass varieties from their cookie lineup this year, and focus their efforts on hocking the much more delicious (and fattening) flavors. SAMOOOAAAAAS!!!!11

“Our top five varieties make up 77% of cookie sales,” Amanda Hamaker, the manager of national product sales for the Girl Scouts, told the Wall Street Journal. “The others are yummy and fun, but they’re side dressing–leaving councils with an awful lot of alternate varieties left over.”

Still available: Thin Mints, Do-Si-Dos, Trefoils, Samoas (also called Caramel deLites), Lemon Chalet Cremes and Tagalongs (also called Peanut Butter Patties).

Going into retirement: Dulce de Leche, Thank U Berry Munch, All Abouts, Sugar-Free Chocolate Chip

OH THANK GOD. I was literally on pins and needles while reading the article. And not just because I’ve been sitting on the can for so long I might actually be stuck, I was genuinely worried. Thankfully, we’ll all be able to sleep peacefully tonight knowing Thin Mints, Samoas and Tagalongs will still be available. I mean seriously — who gives a dang about Sugar-Free chocolate chip anyway? THEY’RE PACKAGED CAT TURDS.

Even Girl Scout Cookies Are Victims of the Recession [time]

Thanks to Christina, who has an industrial-size freezer full of Thin Mints from last year. Apocalypse-ready, I like it! View full post on Geekologie – Gadgets, Gizmos, and Awesome