23May

Potato Daddy: Mr. Potato Head As Bioshock Big Daddy

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This is a gallery of Potato Daddy, a Big Daddy version of Mr. Potato Head created by Flickr user Ginger Troll (the worst kind of troll). Personally, I would have called him Spud Daddy, but that’s just me and I spend hours thinking about stuff like this. A brief biography of the Mr. Potato Head I’ve had since I was six:

From GW age 6-15: Mr. Potato Head lived in my toy chest and stored all his extra pieces and some LEGO blocks in his ass.
From GW age 15-24 : Mr. Potato Head lived in the back of my closet and stored all my drugs and drug paraphernalia in his ass.
From GW age 24-Present: Mr. Potato Head lives on my bedside table and stores all my sex toys in his ass plus scattered around his feet because they don’t all fit anymore. It…it’s a collection.

Hit the jump for shots from all angles.



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23May

You Kind Of Cheated: Stuntman Becomes First Skydiver To (Purposefully) Jump And Land With No Parachute

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Stuntman (or possibly just tired-of-living man) Gary Connery became the first person to purposefully jump out of a helicopter at 2,400-feet with no parachute and survive. Gary dove with a modified wingsuit and crash-landing into a giant pile of boxes, which, as far as I’m concerned, was cheating and cancels the accomplishment. Please, a pile of boxes? YOU LAND IN THE GRASS LIKE EVERYONE ELSE. Oh hey guys — did you hear? I became the first person to spend an hour in a great white shark tank and survive. “Let me guess — the shark was already dead.” Soooooooooo f***ing dead. It stunk so bad I puked in my snorkel.

Hit the jump for a poorly shot video of the feat.



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23May

Skinny Jeans Are Bad For You (And Not Just Your Fashion)

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In hipster-heartbreaking news, some doctors are now claiming that ultra-tight “skinny” jeans are causing leg-related health problems, and at least one really fantastic looking bulge in the front of a blogger’s pants.

ABC recently interviewed Dr. Karen Boyle from Greater Baltimore Medical Center, who has recently seen cases of women suffering pain from wearing tight jeans. She explains:

“This disorder is called Miralsha Parasthetica and it’s a disorder that occurs when one of the nerves that runs in the outer part of a thigh gets compressed. The pressure on it causes symptoms of tingling, numbness and pain in the outer part of the thigh.”

According to Boyle, sufferers report a floating sensation–basically, because they can’t feel their lower legs–along with pain in the thighs. Ouch. Unfortunately for women, the problem can be exacerbated by high heels, which cause the pelvis to tilt, increasing the pressure on the nerves in question.

For men, you risk increased nut temperatures (read: lower sperm count — a good thing for you) and the risk of accidentally pushing a ball back up inside your abdomen and freaking out about it. The doctors suggest buying jeans with some lycra or stretchy fabric in them to prevent damage or, if you’re from West Virginia like I am, only wearing sweatpants.

Thanks to Gavin, who doesn’t wear skinny jeans because he’s got a flat butt and thinks they’re unflattering.



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23May

Coated Ketchup Bottle Provides Smooth, Quick Pour

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Because squeeze bottles don’t exist, PhD student Dave Smith invented a sprayable coating that can used to line ketchup bottles so they pour quicker and with zero clogging. Did you hear that, cheeseburger? I WILL DROWN YOU IN CONDIMENTS. No word how many types of cancer the stuff will give you, or how ketchup prices will be affected, but who cares — I’m a spicy mustard guy!

It turns out Smith and a team of mechanical engineers and nano-technologists at MIT hit upon the solution called LiquiGlide. It’s described as a “structured liquid” that can be sprayed on. It adheres as a solid, but provides a liquid-like lubrication that tackles that tenacious ketchup.

LiquiGlide — that…sounds like sex lube. What’s that other one called? “Astroglide.” Man, if we went to trivia night at the bar and kinky sex was a category I would totally want you on my team. If we won a picture of beer though I get to drink it all. “You mean pitcher of ber?” I don’t know what I mean anymore, I’ve been drinking since the moment I woke up. “Which was…?” Yesterday morning.

Hit the jump for a short video of a guy pouring ketchup on the floor.



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23May

Passive Aggressive Car Alarm Notes

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“Brick/rock through your windshield” looks like a popular trend at the present. What they could use some more is… well, more of me and some sweet literal causticity!

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