16May

I’m Not Special: Chart Of How Common A Birthday Is

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This is an easy-to-understand chart depicting how common birthdays are in the US based on data from 1973-1999. *sobbing* My parents said I was special — it looks like half the f***ing country was born August 12th! So yeah, basically if you were born in July-September you aren’t that special because it’s a well known fact that everybody porks like crazy in the winter because it’s cold and, well, there’s nothing good on TV and you’re already under the covers. Nobody wants to have sex in the middle of August and get all hot & sticky then not be able to cool down because your shitty window-unit air conditioner doesn’t even work well enough to prevent you from breaking a sweat sitting still. “You’re crazy. I love hot, summer sex.” YOU ARE A FREAK. “No, I just have A/C that works.” Ooooh, Mr. Moneybags over here — shut up and go eat your cavalier! “Caviar?” OMG you think you’re SO fancy. You’re no better than me! *tries flicking booger but it keeps getting stuck to a fingernail*

Thanks to Gregory, who tried telling me he was born on a leap day. Impressive, Gregory, but nowhere near as impressive as being born ON A SPACESHIP like I was. Haha — I win!



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16May

What Say You, Thor?: Guy Builds Homemade Tesla Rifle

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This is a video of a mad scientist (although he looks sort of happy in a “never learned how to smile” kinda way) showing off his homemade Tesla coil rifle. It’s a battery operated Tesla coil in the form factor of a rifle. Could you take down Thor with it? Not a chance. Could you give Magneto a boner with it? Every single time. One time he was over for tea when I accidentally put a spoon in the microwave and I could see his nipples get hard through his shirt.

Hit the jump for a shot of it shooting lightning in the dark and and a video demo.



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16May

Here — Here’s A 5-Hour, 35-Minute Diablo 3 Speedrun

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This is a 5-hour, 35-minute speedrun through Diablo 3 performed by a friend of Geekologie reader Newborn (and you can already type? Your parents must be so proud!) and three other players. Have no intentions of ever playing the game? Just take the rest of the afternoon off and watch the video so you can pretend you have. Don’t even want to put in that much effort? Just keep reading for the end of game spoilers: all the players go to heaven where they’re greeted by big-tittied angels pouring fresh-squeezed lemonade. “You didn’t watch it, did you?” F*** no, I’m trying to make it to the bar by noon today.

Hit the jump for the congratulations, you paid over $10 for each hour of gameplay.



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16May

Suck It, The Avengers!: A Justice League Movie Poster

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Note: Full-size version HERE.

This is a mock-up Justice League of America movie poster created by DeviantARTist daniel-morpheus in the style of the 1997 JLA Gallery cover by Frank Quitely, featuring some of the actors who have played the various characters in previous films and shows. It’s good, but I’m not sure how I feel about Justin Hartley as Aquaman. He’s just not — what’s the word I’m looking for? “Smexy enough.” YES. He’s just not smexy enough. Also, Green Lantern sucked and they should kill that guy off in the opening credits.

Thanks to Wilmersama, who agrees Aquaman should definitely look less like a Backstreet Boy and more like a New Kid on the Block. Oh shi-shi, what you know about hangin’ tough?



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16May

NASA, It’s Not For Everyone: Father And Son’s Homemade Rocket Explodes In Dad’s Face During Separation Test

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This is a video of an aspiring father/son astronaut team testing the computer-controlled booster separation of their homemade rocket. They decided to use a 6-gram black powder charge to force the two tubes apart, which, based on the explosive result, may have been a completely arbitrary number of grams. Also, I love how the weights they use to prevent the rocket from going anywhere are fertilizer bags. I knew the NASA budget cuts were bad, but this is just depressing. I need a drink. “You’re drinking one.” I know, but now I want two at the same time.

Hit the jump for the video, explosion is right after 1:35, followed by the disapproving mother and daughter meandering into the scene.



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